This school year is my 9th grade year. Before this year, I went to a public school where the people were horrible. The girls were extremely rude and did things with guys that were...well we wont go there. The boys were worse, however. And I have the scars to prove it. Scars from knives, punches, kicks, and various other things. Everyday I was made fun of and I began to feel so low about myself and began to wonder "Why would God ever let this happen to me?". I questioned God's love for me. Thats how horrible and unbearable it got, I questioned my Fathers love for me. The thing is, these people who did this to me were my FRIENDS. Now I see the light of that issue. They treated everybody like this, it was who they are.
I was reluctant to leave, I had been there for so long. I knew everybody. But when I toured my current school, I felt some sort of awakening in me. It's hard to describe but it felt like a part of me that had been turned off had been woken up. I made the decision to leave my old school for good.
At my new school, I was shocked beyond belief at things that people did.
People smiled in the hallways, boys opened doors for you, boys helped you with books, you didn't have to worry about being talked about after leaving a lunch table, and nobody told you that you better "do something" with them "or else". Looking back, isn't it horrible? To be shocked by things that should just be a natural thing to do, for the sake of everybody? But, I truly was shocked. Nobody should have to be shocked by good manners and love from friends.
Another change, I felt God wrap His arms around me. I felt Him in every aspect of my life and started taking notice in things I normally would have called "good luck". I found myself listening to christian music, praising God in silent times, not questioning His love for me. It was an amazing experience, feeling at one with the Lord. I never had that connection to that extent, I never was 100000% sure in the words in the Bible and the fact that our Lord is real.
But now, I believe so strongly. Ever since welcoming God into my life full force, things have a "glass half full" look.
Looking back on my question of if God loved me or not during my terrible school I had been going to, I now think I know the answer.
If I didn't have treatment like that at my old school, I would never fully appreciate things like this at my new school. I would take for granted these people who truly care about me and show me they care. If not for these people doing terrible, undescribable things to me, I never would have changed to my current school and fallen head over heels in love with Christ.
Things happen for a reason.
It's cliché, everybody says it.
But I know it, just honestly think about that.
God needs you to be at a certain point, He needs you to gain certain knowledge and wisdom and sometimes there is only one way. The hard way. But He holds your hand throughout it, and He knows it is hard.
Never doubt the love your Father has for you in a weary time.
It reminds me of a story on my grandma's wall in a picture frame.
"A man looked back upon his life journey while he was in heaven about to enter the gates. He saw two sets of footprints in a beach, symbolizing his life walk. 'This is Me.' God said, pointing to one set of footprints, 'And this is you.' He said as He pointed to the other set. The man noticed that at some points, there was only one set of prints. 'This represents your hard, difficult times.' God said. The man was confused, he was alone during his time of need? God knew the man was confused and said, 'You were never alone. These are My footprints, I was carrying you.'"